For years, Hollywood star Emilia Clarke didn't speak publicly about the two brain hemorrhages she suffered in her early twenties. "It took me years to come to terms with the truth," she said in a speech Wednesday after being honored at Variety's Power of Women London event.
When Clarke shared her experience in 2019, "we were overwhelmed by the response," she added, describing the long-term impact of the experience.
«"In 2011, I didn't want anyone to know about my brain hemorrhages," said the British actress, best known for her role as Daenerys Targaryen in Game of Thrones. "I was ashamed and shocked by a diagnosis I didn't understand.".
«"Fifteen years after my first bleed, I realize how difficult that time really was," she added.
After two hemorrhages – one in 2011 and another in 2013 – she says she «never had a chance to comprehend what two brain injuries did to me because I could walk, talk, be myself, remember my lines, and was back on set within weeks of both brain injuries.».
Clark, 39, said she tried to downplay other consequences. "I ignored what was happening with my hormones, or rather, my hormone imbalances, and my extreme fatigue, which no one I knew in their early 20s suffered from," she said.
«What about my anxiety? Surely that’s normal in our image-obsessed industry? Broke a rib after filming a sex scene? Well, maybe that was his fault. But sometimes I’d even pass out after long nights of shooting? Pain all over my body? I didn’t even think to figure out the cause. I simply attributed it to stress and my nonstop work schedule, which I didn’t cope with very well. I thought it had gone away. My doctors thought so too. None of us saw a pattern, so I just blamed myself.».
Emilia Clarke suffered two brain haemorrhages in her early twenties. — Ian West/PA
«It never occurred to me that maybe the problem wasn’t me… but that brain injury is an incredibly complex phenomenon, and we’re only just beginning to understand the impact it can have long after a person has supposedly recovered.».
In an effort to cope with the challenges of her own recovery, she founded the brain injury rehabilitation charity SameYou, whose name refers to the idea of returning to the state you were in before your brain injury.
«"Today, tens of thousands of people who have experienced similar things say essentially the same thing: the path to healing is like falling off a cliff with no one there to catch you," she said.
Regarding her own recovery, Clark said she now has "the energy and positivity I had in my twenties" after working with neuroscientist David Putrino at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City.
«"When you think about who you are—your personality, your intelligence, your sense of humor, your memories, your excellent taste—where do they live? In your mind.".
«"And when it doesn't help, it can undermine your self-confidence. It can frighten you and convince you that you'll never be the same again," she said.
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