The Emmy Award-winning writer and producer, reflecting on her two-month marriage to Alana Mayo, admitted she put the relationship above her own happiness before realizing they wanted different things.
Lena Waithe reflects on the lessons she learned from her short-lived marriage to ex-wife Alana Mayo, saying the relationship ultimately ended because they imagined different futures.
During a recent appearance on the Armchair Expert podcast, the creator of The Chi spoke candidly about her marriage to Mayo. According to People, Mayo and Waithe dated for five years before secretly marrying in November 2019. Just two months later, the couple announced their separation, and the divorce was finalized in 2021.
Looking back, Waite said she entered into marriage focused on respecting the relationship, not whether it was consistent with her long-term happiness.
«"I just had no words, no understanding," she explained, noting that she felt obligated to maintain the relationship instead of asking herself what she really wanted for the future.
WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA – SEPTEMBER 14: Lena Waithe attends the Creative Coalition's 2023 Television Humanitarian Awards at the Kimpton La Peer Hotel in West Hollywood, California. (Photo by Emma McIntyre/Getty Images)
Waite said one of the biggest challenges in their marriage was that she and Mayo eventually realized they wanted different things, especially when it came to children. She admitted that she put off difficult conversations for years while trying to figure out her own desires and life path.
The Emmy Award-winning actress described the breakup as "like a car accident" and acknowledged she could have handled some aspects of the breakup better. Nevertheless, she considers the experience an important chapter in her personal growth.
Instead of holding a grudge, Waite said the relationship taught her a deeper understanding of love—a love that puts the other person's happiness first, even if that means separation.
Today, she says the experience was valuable, and she believes both she and Mayo ended up where they were meant to be.
«"It's about being kind to yourself," Waite said, adding that true love means wanting someone to be happy, even if that happiness no longer includes yourself.
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