A successful stadium gig on a summer weekend requires a tremendous amount of charisma, and on Friday in north London, Boyzone's distinct lack of it was as palpable and overwhelming as the Mariana Trench. Billed as a one-off reunion show—their first since 2019—and a tribute to their late bandmate Stephen Gately, the concert was already a tense affair at Emirates Stadium. But it would have been hard to imagine a less exciting outcome.
No sane adult expected musical surprises at a Boyzone concert, but the performance was beyond terrifying. The set consisted of a screen displaying some formless AI-generated nonsense—shots of "tribes," whales leaping out of the water, jungles and igloos, dew-covered forests, and butterflies on high-rise buildings—the kind of thing you'd be disappointed to see on a dentist's waiting room wall-mounted TV. It was an unforgivably cheap shot for a band planning to play stadiums.
Then along came Boyzone themselves. "We're going to take you on a journey," Ronan Keating promised, sporting a cape Liberace would have considered "way, way, way too much." This "journey" took us from baffled disappointment to agonizing disbelief. Who even thought this was good enough to release? The endless chatter generated by Chat GPT about their 33 years in the "business" was the only thing that even slightly relieved the monotony of the music. Song Baby Can I Hold You It seems like it touched me, but Words It was bearable for a moment, but Keith Duffy was buzzing like a goose throughout the entire performance.
Ronan Keating promises to take viewers on a 'journey' - Redferns
The painful emptiness of the whole thing is reflected in the fact that the climax was the sudden appearance of Mikey Graham, rumored to be ill, on a chair mid-show. He was repeating mostly the same incoherent nonsense, but at least he seemed human. The others returned with a song. «"I Love The Way You Love Me"» , dousing the thinning crowd with mechanically collected syrup. Someone mentioned «Top of the Pops» — thunderous applause! — and we heard a drawn-out speech about the workings of the booking mechanism of the legendary show, after which the creaking Father and Son plopped down on our laps like a wet dog of an unloved relative.
People had already started gathering at the exits before Shane Lynch barked, "Do you know the Lord's Prayer?" and the mania began to build. Boyzone were (probably) great guys, and the grief for their lost "brother," as well as the gratitude to the fans, seemed genuine. But both deserved much better than this half-baked nonsense.
Boyzone will perform at the Emirates Stadium again tonight; tickets.
Try The Telegraph today for full free access. Discover their award-winning website and essential news app, plus helpful tools and expert guides on finance, health, and leisure.