When I was nine years old , I started looking different from the other girls in my ballet class. That year, I started getting my period, and I basically had the same body I have now. If you know anything about ballet, you know there's a certain look you have to have. When your body starts to develop, you quickly realize there's a problem. Not because there's anything wrong with you, but because you're treated like there is.
At 11, I switched from ballet to ballroom dancing, and I immediately found ballroom dancing better. I saw kids my age competing in rhinestone jewelry and stage makeup to upbeat music, and I thought, "Sign me up!" I took it very seriously. By 13, I was spending my summers in England training with world champions.
Dancing saved my life in many ways. I had a difficult childhood, and movement was the one place where I didn't have to explain anything. But weight was always an issue. I've always been curvy in a world that wasn't designed for curves. I competed internationally, and the women there were completely different. Growing up, my mother was constantly on the South Beach Diet, then Atkins, and then Weight Watchers. No one talked about a healthy lifestyle. The main goal was to reduce the number on the scale. I realized early on that I needed to take care of my body.
I got my first competition partner when I was 13. He was 18. That's just the way the world worked. Back then, ballroom dancing was predominantly a man's business. When, many years later, I got a call from «Dancing with the Stars» and was asked to do an interview—literally just walk into a room and introduce myself—I could barely say, "Hello, my name is Cheryl Burke." I was 20, and I had never been asked my opinion on anything before.
I joined the show in 2006, thinking it would be one season and then I'd return to my life as a professional dancer. But I won two seasons in a row, and people started paying attention. I wasn't prepared for what it meant to be the subject of tabloid attention in the age of magazines. Star и National Enquirer , a world that seemed to be waiting for a successful, curvy TV star to gain a few pounds before publishing a headline about it.
In 2008, I danced with former Olympic track and field champion Maurice Greene on Season 7, and I remember turning on the TV one morning and seeing my name on the screen: «"Is Cheryl too fat for TV?"» I'll never forget it. I was in my early twenties, hormonal changes were happening, I was finally starting to live outside the rigid confines of the competitive dance world for the first time, and my body was in the news. And then, apparently, if that wasn't enough, two of my male colleagues, both professional competitors, «Dancing with the Stars, Like me, they made comments about my weight at the press conference after the live broadcast. Everyone picked up on it. Did I have personal conversations with these people? Absolutely. Have I forgiven them? Absolutely. But it's still shocking.
It's no wonder I developed body dysmorphia. I had the beginnings of it before TV, but it made it a million times worse.
What's really pissing me off right now? What's really pissed me off? The fact that people look at pictures of me from that era and say I looked so much healthier. I was drinking every night. I was eating tacos at Del Taco at midnight to drown the alcohol. Are you kidding? Is this the body that fans are nostalgic for? Back then, I was the same alcoholic Cheryl, the party girl, barely surviving some of those concerts. In every picture from that era—the ones where they now say I looked amazing—I was practically hungover. That's the version of me they tell me I should go back to.
They have absolutely no idea what they're talking about. When I participated in «Dancing with the Stars» , I didn't like everything I saw. I don't have any enemies, but if I did, I wouldn't wish the disgust I felt for myself on anyone. It's amazing how people on the internet think they own you or even know you.
I haven't had a drink in years. I left the show. «Dancing with the Stars» , for which I am deeply grateful and thanks to which I have achieved success. I got divorced. I moved. All of this happened within the space of one year, and I have done a tremendous amount of work on myself in therapy—deep work, the kind that is not enjoyable—to love the person I see in the mirror. This is not a small thing. It is the most significant thing I have ever done.
And then social media decided there was something wrong with me.
It all started on TikTok, then moved to Reddit, and now, I'm told, to Facebook. Apparently, an entire generation of people, probably my mother's age, are sitting at home without any embarrassment, typing things they would never say to another person's face. At first, it was «"Don't lose too much weight."» , which was so strange after years of being told the opposite. Then came comparisons that I won't bother repeating.
Then the doctors showed up. Actual doctors in their scrubs, holding up their credentials, filming videos while pointing laser pointers at my face, like they were detecting something. They were looking me in circles. Drawing their own conclusions based on photos taken ten years apart, in completely different lighting, with completely different makeup, on a completely different person, health-wise. They're presenting it as medical analysis. It's content. They have higher engagement rates than anything I've ever posted, which speaks volumes about why they keep doing this. Honestly? People who make videos like this should have their licenses revoked. Seriously.
Dancing with the Stars. Burke and pop star Drew Lachey won Dancing with the Stars in 2006, its first season. Getty Images Dancing with the Stars results show the team won again the following season, along with former NFL player Emmitt Smith. (Getty Images) Dancing with the Stars results show Burke competed with Greene, a former Olympian, in 2008. (Getty)
I've never gone under the knife. But I'll tell you this: now I almost wish I had, just to say, "You're right, you've figured me out. I have nothing to hide." Botox, which I started less than five years ago. Sculptra. The microneedling session I wrote about in the post. As a beauty content creator and a member of the Sephora Squad, transparency on these issues is now my job. And all this talk about GLP-1 supplements? People don't understand what happens when a professional dancer who danced seven days a week her entire life stops dancing. Muscle mass is naturally lost, and the body changes.
I've spent my entire life sharing too much about myself. I wrote a book about childhood trauma. I've spoken publicly about my sobriety for years. I've always chosen to be open because I know what it's like to be young, struggling, and thinking you're alone. I wish I had the opportunity to connect with someone who'd been through something similar and survived when I was growing up, when I was going through things no child should have to.
The fact that I am criticized for being healthy is very telling. . Now that I'm truly okay, it's becoming a problem for some people. I've been seeing the same therapist regularly for almost 15 years. I want to say this outright, because one of the most common things I hear when I'm being attacked is, "She needs help" or "Someone needs to check on her." I want them to know that I've done more work on myself than most people ever do in their entire lives.
My therapist was with me when I recently returned as a guest judge on show "Dancing with the Stars"« . She was sitting in the audience. And while I was on stage, strangers started approaching her—somehow they realized she was connected to me—and asking if I was okay. She told me about it later, and I just looked at her. These people don't know me. They've never seen my face without the makeup. They know the character who existed on their TV screens on Mondays.
Working to stop giving your power to others is a reality . It's a daily grind. I'm not going to stop it just because strangers on the internet think there's something wrong with me. Recently, I got messages from people telling me I don't want to be Asian and that I bleach my skin. People don't realize how much makeup I used to wear, how many layers of self-tanner I used, and how many tanning beds I used. I'm proud to be Asian, and I think my beauty content reflects that. I'm discovering who I really am beneath the layers of makeup I used to hide behind, and I'm learning how to truly enhance my beauty, not completely change it.
The only time I turned off comments was over the holidays—a whole bunch of pictures of me with my family at Christmas, wearing a brown dress, and thousands of people decided it was the right time to pounce on me with criticism. I turned them off, and they're still turned off. But that was just one time. I'm not going to disappear because strangers without profile pictures have opinions about my jawline. If you miss the old Cheryl Burke, please unfollow. I'm not the same person anymore. I have complete respect for her. But I'm not going back to her.
Today, when I look in the mirror, I like what I see. We'll see tomorrow. But today I like it.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
«Personally is a Glamour magazine series that tells the truly candid, first-person stories of women shaping culture, in their own words.
The original article was published on the Glamour website.
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